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This disturbed me deeply and we’ve had innumerable discussions about this since then. Recently others in the family eavesdropped on us and unfortunately managed to listen in on some of our private conversations regarding this issue, i.e. This was deeply humiliating and painful for both of us.

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That’s something you have a right to protect yourself against. Then mention to her that, at the same time you don’t want to receive info about her past life from outsiders and look like a fool.

So the middle ground here is to know only as much as is necessary, and in this case you have a right to demand that information from your wife. Tell her first that you love her as she is, and that you have realized that finding out intricate details about her past life is not going to help your relationship. Between the two of you, you might have issues (every couple has).

Incidentally, one of her friends visited us and hinted that my wife is “not as simple as she pretends to be”. That kind of probing is guaranteed to make any relationship worse.

As of today I’ve planned to post questions about her past relationship(s) in the confessions page of her school. However, there’s another aspect to this in your case.

We asked some of these girls if this incident has changed their perception of safety.

It's not just Delhi's problem now I moved to Mumbai from Delhi partly because it is safer.And their interference in it is entirely unwelcome.Spouses might have the right to ask each other private questions.I would suggest you to go for therapy and counseling to help you deal with this obsession/addiction.It would be advisable to look at more reality oriented activities like exercise, doing a hobby, learning a new skill etc. Their parents and extended families have absolutely none.