And if we don’t want to make out with you, we’re not going to go out with you.
You can have friendship without attraction, but you can’t have a relationship without it.
Being respected and listened to helped me become a bigger person. Men with manners, compassion, and sweetness are gems. Seriously, I swipe left on at least 50 photos a day of cocky men posing with guitars, next to waterfalls, and looking pensive on boats.
It’s also, ironically, a pretty douchey thing to do.And please do remember that most douchebags start out pretty nice–that’s how they trick us!Men who complain that they are unlucky in love despite their 'nice guy' persona may have a sinister agenda.The so-called 'Nice Guy', the often physically unattractive man who overcompensates with clingy and over-the-top behaviour to women, is relentlessly mocked online.I couldn't believe this slightly older, charming, and successful guy was giving me -- an awkward young girl who hadn't quite figured out the right shade of foundation -- the time of day. Big equivalent basically helped me implode into an even bigger self-loathing mess over a couple years; constantly comparing myself to the other women he wouldn't stop chasing. My overall quality of life soared while I dated the good guy. But at the end of the day, a good guy will always be there for you and want what's best for you.
It took a long time, but I eventually realized opposite effect. It's impossible to be upfront and honest with someone who's being cryptic and weird. You just get shut down so many times, you start to edit what you're saying. I'm a typical 20-something juggling a gym membership, career networking, hanging out with friends, family, and, OK, I admit it -- a crippling wanderlust and over-the-top addiction to Netflix-and-chilling.
Today, we know there are better roads to self-discovery than dating someone who's obviously not good for you. Point is, I know can find myself in better ways than dating a guy who doesn't listen to and respect me.
Too many of us have been with people whose greatness we waited for.
I've known plenty of men who changed their heartbreaking ways for a wiser, more mature stance on the dating game.
Neil Strauss wrote about gleefully chasing tail as a pick-up artist, and grew stoic years later when he admitted he was a sex addict.
But relationships need to be you and your mate taking on the world together -- not in spite of each other.