, written by Joshua Harris and first published in 1997, argued that traditional dating was “a training ground for divorce” because it puts people in the habit of quitting relationships when things get tough.
“It’s like, well, crap, is the biggest thing I’ve done in my life this really huge mistake? Last month he gave an interview to NPR in which he said he is re-evaluating the book’s impact, and he has been responding to critics on Twitter and having phone conversations with some of them, too.
A few months ago, he started soliciting messages on his website from readers about how the books affected them.
Over the years he wrote more books about dating and marriage, including , he is the father of three kids—two of them teenagers—and he is pursuing formal education for the first time in his life.
And these days, he’s having very mixed feelings about the book that turned him into a Christian celebrity.
He was a virgin who had been home-schooled his whole life—an unusual profile for the author of a book proposing “a new attitude toward romance and relationships,” as the subtitle put it.
He married at 23 and later served as the pastor of an evangelical megachurch in Maryland for more than a decade.
" asked Harris, who stepped down as lead pastor at Covenant Life last year to pursue graduate studies at the evangelical Regent College in British Columbia.
In , Harris argues that traditional dating is "a training ground for divorce" because it puts people in the habit of quitting relationships when things get tough.
Harris apologized again and revealed that he had plans to reevaluate his advice from ."@elizabethesther I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the loss you've experienced and ways my book contributed," Harris responded.
And I'm planning to dig into that in the next year or two. Other readers, like Kristine Kruszelnicki, blamed the book for making her set the bar on relationships too high and called herself a "victim.""@Harris Josh Add me to ur IKDG victims.
The book, marketed to teenagers and 20somethings, also discourages teen relationships and promotes courtship, a process in which a couple moves purposefully toward marriage with their parents' blessing and involvement as a better alternative to dating.