Most experts recommended that couples shoot for once a week. The only person you want to talk to is right in front of you. “If you’re talking about the kids or their bills, it’s not a date,” says Lisa Brateman, a New York-based psychotherapist and relationship specialist.“Those issues are still going to be there on Monday.” Spruce yourself up.“If we didn’t make a date night, we’d be two ships passing in the night.
Some people are heeding the call, establishing a date-night routine even before their love threatens to get stale. It gives us a chance to feel really connected.” Single people also need a traditional, planned meetup to counter the lost intimacy and romance of the app-enabled hookup culture.“We have an agreement to go on a date every single week no matter what,” says newlywed Jenny Studenroth-Gerson, creator of Born To Bea Fed up with guys who think they can just text a booty call, one Brooklyn woman set up strict rules. Don’t sneak around on your spouse — sneak around with your spouse. — and it’s not simply firing up the DVD player and grabbing a beer from the fridge.Married couples need them more than anyone, but more and more singles are complaining that “dating” nowadays means hookups via text or hangouts in large groups.Having children transforms the language and landscape of a relationship, and it's common for cracks to appear when the bride and groom turn into mum and dad.
If it hadn't been for my friend's timely question, I might have continued harbouring a silent sense that marriage wasn't turning out quite as expected.Two kids, the humdrum predictability of married life, and a double dose of 30-something angst can have that effect.I missed the heady days of dating when we would spend hours in soulful conversation gazing into one another's eyes – instead of debating our differences and staring at the TV in companionable silence.“Sustaining intimacy is probably the most challenging task a human being has in his or her lifetime,” says Jared Scherz, a clinical psychologist who specializes in couples. It doesn’t have to be fancy, say couples who stay connected.“It’s tricky to find the time, and there’s always the guilt factor” about leaving the kids, says Nicole Meyer, a 37-year-old mother of two and food blogger behind Nibbles by Nic who has a twice-monthly date with her spouse of 11 years, “but it’s just so important to get that time alone.” It doesn’t take much; one or two hours out is “enough to get the recharge,” she adds.Our dating experiment began when a friend enquired how we were, eliciting a weary monologue about how little time we spent together.