Should my courtship techniques be the same as when I was in my 20s? Question from Randi: What do you think about long-distance relationships? They take a lot of attention, by e-mail, by phone, sacrificing money because the cost can become difficult.
Sometimes we sleep together, sometimes we don’t,’ she says.‘I wonder if our relationship might develop further if we let it, but we have reached the stage now where to express any emotion for each other would be embarrassing.’His attitude seems shockingly clinical.
All the more so because it was Malcolm who asked Martina out in the first place after they bumped into each other on a visit back to the hometown where they had once been school friends.‘Then he went a bit further, using a phone app called Take Me I’m Yours, designed to get couples together.
That is certainly the view of Rachel Morris, a psychotherapist specialising in sex and relationships, who predicts an unhappy outcome for Lucy and Doug — and for any other friends in a set-up likes theirs.
She says: ‘Most of the women in these cases are seeking a proper relationship.
She is an example of how confounding it can be to shift from a platonic relationship to a sexual one.
To be clear, by ‘no strings’ she means they are both free to pursue relationships with other people.
The purpose of their meetings is purely physical, and neither harbours any expectation of commitment from the other person.‘I think I am more jealous of his other relationships than he is of mine, but we both know the score.
I tell myself I want him to be happy and meet the right girl, but when he’s dating I get confused about my feelings.
As the forthcoming Hollywood film Friends With Benefits reveals, a no-strings relationship often leaves at least one half of the couple — and usually it’s the woman — feeling confused, unsatisfied, and wholly unconvinced by the ‘benefits’ they’re supposed to be relishing.
Lucy Waterson is one of a growing number of young women in their late 20s and early 30s who have embarked on a Friend With Benefits liaison.
All the benefits of a committed relationship, in other words, but with none of the emotional or practical ties.