What do you think and can you help as to what I should do. The feelings that you are experiencing now are very similar to what people experience when they discover infidelity.
At an emotional level there is very little difference between discovering different types of cheating—it all hurts just the same (see what counts as cheating).
I told him I felt bad that he was looking at these women-but I felt even worse because I was the one who looked it up in his documents on his computer-I felt I invaded his privacy-I didn’t want to be one of those crazy girlfriends/fiancés.
I then went to his sent messages and found he was contacting these girls.He’d sent things talking about how he was horny and was looking for phone (sex- I assumed),-he’d given his number out on a separate email, he’d tell them he had pictures of him he could send, he’d ask them if they had messengers and webcams, he’d let them know he did, he reminded girls of pictures they were suppose to take... This is over the period of our entire relationship (I could tell by the dates these emails were sent).4 months ago he received an email from another girl, not sure what she said, but he replied with I’m happily engaged but thank you:),-needless to say that one gave me SOME relief (I saw others where he told them he had a g/f and was just looking for fun, others said "nothing dirty just wanted to chat"..), and the one before that was one month before he asked me to marry him-he told her that he was busy with work and stuff and that he missed her and wanted to say hi you... he describes himself as shy in the beginning but get past that and he’s got a very dirty mind...4 months before he asked me to marry him he wrote and I quote "awe you left i was gonna say hit me up on yahoo sometime and i’ll show you whatever you like same sn as aff *** take care.... and his ideal match is a woman that’s not afraid to say exactly what she wants. I don’t how often he’s does things-chats, gets on the phone, I don’t even know if he does it anymore... I’m not about to purchase something to hook up to the computer to follow what he does...In these types of situations, it is common for people to offer quick solutions, but easy solutions typically don’t work long term (see once a cheater).
So, our best advice is probably the most difficult.
Initially we had web cams, I got rid of mine, he still had his and just put it away a couple months ago (5).
I had always wondered why he kept it set up right next to his computer when we didn’t use it anymore with each other.
The beginning emails- I felt we were just starting to date, so it wasn’t as big of a deal, then I saw emails in the middle of our relationship and some current ones.
About a month ago a girl sent him something entitled from your Canadian girls, saying how they hadn’t talked for awhile, he told her he’d been really busy with stuff, said he’d explain later and hoped to see her soon...
The high reward and low cost nature of online cheating makes it difficult to stop.